This is a post about weight loss, and I'm keeping it real (as always...)
Unless you've been overweight (and being prego doesn't count), you don't know the feelings that overweight people endure in the simplest situations.
Can I fit in that seat?
Can I fit on that ride at Disneyland?
Will this bench break if I sit on it?
You don't know what it feels like to be "the fat friend". They don't call you that, but you feel it
And there is always the horrific event of shopping because you know that you can't go buy the "cute" stuff the others are wearing. Your girlfriends ask you to go shopping, and you just say no because the thought of them knowing what size you really wear would make you depressed enough to bake a batch of brownies and devour them by yourself. And when you do go shopping, you just hope to high heaven no one sees you and sees what size you are shopping for. But then one day, you let it go because you just accept that you are fat, and it is what it is. So you keep eating, and your vision of your self worth plummets.
If you are average size or smaller, you don't know those feelings. Some of you might be thinking "Oh Jolene, you weren't THAT big..." Yes, I was. I know how all of the above feels because I felt it for a long, long time.
That is not to say I'm a Miss Skinny now--HA--far from it! In fact, instead of being morbidly obese, I'm now just obese according to the BMI and Weight Watchers. I seriously have to laugh at that, and here's why.
We could add to that list of situations that an overweight person dreads: fitting into a shuttle van, in the back seat, 3 across. One year ago, not only would I have barely been able to squeeze past the second seat, I would have been scared to death that my rear would not fit in the open spot on the bench seat, causing those in the middle to be squished.
But today, I was in that situation, and I am happy to say that I glided to the back seat, sat down, and no one was squished. In fact, it was comfortable. I believe I even said, "Thank God I lost weight!"
My weight loss has certainly hit a plateau again. I'm stuck at the same weight and have been for about 3 weeks, so I've lost about 38lbs, and I'm stuck. But that's OK, I'm still running and cross training, still fighting injuries, and still hanging in there. Here's the deal: I'm not ever going back to the weight that I was. Honestly, I could be happy with the weight I am now. I'd like to lose another 12 lbs to make it an even -50, so I'll keep working at that over the summer. It's not going to happen by the half marathon, and that's OK too.
But for the first time in my life, I didn't give up when I have been presented so many chances to do just that. Praise Jesus that where I am weak, He is strong! I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me!
So even if all the work I've put in amounts to just climbing into the back seat of a shuttle van and not being mortified, in all honesty, just that moment alone was totally worth every minute of working out and every food choice that I made. It's a great feeling to just do what everyone else can do, even if it's just something as simple as climbing into a back seat.
Jolene
PS: And if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
11 Miles! Busy Weekends Ahead
I made my longest run on Sunday of 11 miles. It took me 2:20, and yes, that's 12:45 min/mile. On Sunday many people from my area ran in a half marathon, and I honestly wished I was running it with them. It was so fun to read their updates and hear their success stories, so if you ran this past weekend, great job! I can't wait to join that club!
I'm still dealing with this toe thing. Not to say I could immensely improve my time, but every step is painful. I have to stop once in awhile and just let the blood flow to my toes. I also decided to only stop for water twice: at 5 miles and 10 miles. I like that plan! Tonight I did 45 minutes of spinning, then I when I found out Kacie's game was canceled, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I feel pretty good, but I can't wait to put in 5 miles tomorrow if her game is canceled again. But honestly, she may have whatever this illness is floating around, so who knows if she'll be up to playing a game.
Back to running...As I was running, in the drizzling rain, I passed an older gentleman who was out for a walk. I had my iPod on, but I could tell he said something to me. I turned down the volume, and asked him to repeat himself. He said, "You never miss a day, do you?" I guess I'm well known in the neighborhood. In fact, I think the drivers in my neighborhood are the best! But having said that, my routes here are getting old. I'm tired of 10+ miles of the same scenery, but it's a safe place to run, and that's why I do it. I also explored a local high school's track on Saturday to put in 3 miles, and that felt pretty good on the knees too, so I may throw that in more. The bad part is that I can't count the laps! Thank goodness for Nike+, but I don't like measuring in km.
I have met some cool people on a local FB running group page (hi there if you are visiting from FB!) who say they will run with me, even as slow as I am. I am going to take them up on it one of these days because I just can't handle running the same routes all the time. But let's look at my schedule shall we? The half-marathon is in less than 5 weeks. Out of those weekends, one is a camping weekend, 2 are fast pitch tournaments. The good news is that one weekend I will be home (sort of) and hopefully I can get one of these awesome people to take me off of my well-beaten path.
Yes, I have one month, and I'm determined to make it. I will make it...by the skin of my teeth. Oh sure, I continue to battle injuries. Evidently I needed new shoes much sooner than I anticipated, so my knees took a beating. Finally, 1.5 weeks later, I'm feeling some improvement. Also, usually two days after a long run (8+ miles is the definition of long run for me) I usually have an ache in my legs on Tuesday. This week, not so much! But this toe thing...wow...ouch! Not sure I'm made for this, but I will reach this goal, and I'll go from there and make my next plan.
So as I go into this last month of training, I'd like to remind you that I am also fundraising for Love Without Boundaries. This is an awesome organization that provides surgeries to orphans in China. As a mommy to a boy from China who was once an orphan and received a surgery there, I can say that these are life-saving and life-changing opportunities. The link is to the right on this page if you'd like to donate to this awesome organization. And if not, just keep praying for me!
Thank you, and God Bless! God is good, isn't He!
Jolene
I'm still dealing with this toe thing. Not to say I could immensely improve my time, but every step is painful. I have to stop once in awhile and just let the blood flow to my toes. I also decided to only stop for water twice: at 5 miles and 10 miles. I like that plan! Tonight I did 45 minutes of spinning, then I when I found out Kacie's game was canceled, I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. I feel pretty good, but I can't wait to put in 5 miles tomorrow if her game is canceled again. But honestly, she may have whatever this illness is floating around, so who knows if she'll be up to playing a game.
Back to running...As I was running, in the drizzling rain, I passed an older gentleman who was out for a walk. I had my iPod on, but I could tell he said something to me. I turned down the volume, and asked him to repeat himself. He said, "You never miss a day, do you?" I guess I'm well known in the neighborhood. In fact, I think the drivers in my neighborhood are the best! But having said that, my routes here are getting old. I'm tired of 10+ miles of the same scenery, but it's a safe place to run, and that's why I do it. I also explored a local high school's track on Saturday to put in 3 miles, and that felt pretty good on the knees too, so I may throw that in more. The bad part is that I can't count the laps! Thank goodness for Nike+, but I don't like measuring in km.
I have met some cool people on a local FB running group page (hi there if you are visiting from FB!) who say they will run with me, even as slow as I am. I am going to take them up on it one of these days because I just can't handle running the same routes all the time. But let's look at my schedule shall we? The half-marathon is in less than 5 weeks. Out of those weekends, one is a camping weekend, 2 are fast pitch tournaments. The good news is that one weekend I will be home (sort of) and hopefully I can get one of these awesome people to take me off of my well-beaten path.
Yes, I have one month, and I'm determined to make it. I will make it...by the skin of my teeth. Oh sure, I continue to battle injuries. Evidently I needed new shoes much sooner than I anticipated, so my knees took a beating. Finally, 1.5 weeks later, I'm feeling some improvement. Also, usually two days after a long run (8+ miles is the definition of long run for me) I usually have an ache in my legs on Tuesday. This week, not so much! But this toe thing...wow...ouch! Not sure I'm made for this, but I will reach this goal, and I'll go from there and make my next plan.
So as I go into this last month of training, I'd like to remind you that I am also fundraising for Love Without Boundaries. This is an awesome organization that provides surgeries to orphans in China. As a mommy to a boy from China who was once an orphan and received a surgery there, I can say that these are life-saving and life-changing opportunities. The link is to the right on this page if you'd like to donate to this awesome organization. And if not, just keep praying for me!
Thank you, and God Bless! God is good, isn't He!
Jolene
Thursday, May 3, 2012
It's becoming just what I do!
If this is your first visit, welcome to my blog where I'm posting my ups and downs of training for a half-marathon in June, and at the same time, raising awareness of Love Without Boundaries and the work they do with the orphans of China who need medical care. If you are from FB "They Ran That-Away" or "Weighting Around", thanks for stopping by my blog!
I can't remember when or what I posted last, so here's a bit of a recap:
Almost two weeks ago, I ran 8 miles in 1hr 40 min. It was my first run beyond 1 hour 30 min since I injured my foot, and I'm happy to report NO INJURIES! So on this past Sunday I did what any beginning runner would do: I decided I'd run for two hours. I have a spot now that I stash a water bottle, so I stayed hydrated. I'd run by that spot about every 3 miles or so. My goal was time, not miles. As I started running, I was about 12 minutes into my run, and I said to myself, "Who runs for 2 hours? I don't..." But I did! When I met my goal, I went home, stretched, and I did what any good runner would do: I jumped in my car to clock my mileage. Now, my iPod/Nike+ said 9.57 miles. I didn't believe it, until I drove it. 9.6 miles! I was immediately perturbed. 0.4 miles away from double digits! I was screaming in my head. So this Sunday, my goal is 10 miles, and I won't worry as much about time.
On Monday I was off to camp with my class for two nights. I packed a bag for running, and I decided I'd do 4 miles, and I knew there was a section with some good dips and hills. The only time I had to do this was at 6 am on Tuesday. I set my alarm for 5:50, and I remember thinking, "I'm not getting up to run." I had worked myself into a frenzy that I could not run the hills and would have to stop and walk. Yet the alarm went off at 5:50am, I laid in my sleeping bag a minute or two, and the next thing I knew, I was up, dressed, and stretching next to my car...then my feet just took off running. That first hill was the worst, but I'm happy to say I made it the full four miles with hills, no stopping to walk. Again, I ask myself, "Who does this? Who gets up to run 4 miles before her class of sixth graders wakes up?" I guess I do.
I got home from camp on Wednesday, and my daughter has a medical issue I had to deal with, so I only had time for a 40 minute elliptical workout. Not great, but it was something, and I decided something was better than nothing. Again, I could have said, "I only have 40 minutes, so I'll just skip it." But again...I didn't make an excuse.
Today after work I was exhausted. I really needed to just come home, curl up on the couch, and go to sleep early. But I needed to go the Y first and do some weights (that I haven't done in over a week) and then run 3 miles. Wait, no, I hit 3 miles, and thought, hey, I'll run 4 miles, and I did it in 45 mintues, or 11:10 per mile, which for me is a good 5K pace that I hope to make a 10K pace soon. Who does this? Who thinks about pacing for different distances? Wasn't it just a few months ago that if I could run 4 miles in 52 minutes I was jumping for joy, and had total loss of breath? That was me...then.
This is me now. I don't make up excuses, I just find the time. Are there days I can't get a workout in? Sure, and like the 40 min elliptical day, that wasn't the plan...but it's what I had time for, so it's what I did. I also plan days off, like after the long run. The goal was to do a weight workout the day after the long run, but due to being at camp, I didn't get a chance this week. I also didn't get a spin class in like I normally do, but I did something!
I have to admit, I don't know this person. I can't figure out when it happened, but it has happened. Working out and running are just what I do. I'm listening to my body so I don't over do it. And I don't look forward to running ten miles on Sunday to be honest. But I'll do it...for whatever reason, I'll lace up my shoes, get the iPod set, and off I will go. It will be at least 6pm because I'll be getting home from a weekend of fastpitch, but again, I'll do it because now, it's just what I do.
If you are struggling with weight, finding time, finding energy, I can only speak from my experience. My experience is that you have to be in a place in your life where it just works. Last year at this time, I wasn't there mentally to do this. When I started exercising in August, it wasn't really to make this sweeping change. I just kept at it, and it has snowballed into -36lbs, down clothing sizes, increased energy, and a clear mind. All you have to do is keep at it. If I can do it, so can you!
Keep going!
Jolene :)
I can't remember when or what I posted last, so here's a bit of a recap:
Almost two weeks ago, I ran 8 miles in 1hr 40 min. It was my first run beyond 1 hour 30 min since I injured my foot, and I'm happy to report NO INJURIES! So on this past Sunday I did what any beginning runner would do: I decided I'd run for two hours. I have a spot now that I stash a water bottle, so I stayed hydrated. I'd run by that spot about every 3 miles or so. My goal was time, not miles. As I started running, I was about 12 minutes into my run, and I said to myself, "Who runs for 2 hours? I don't..." But I did! When I met my goal, I went home, stretched, and I did what any good runner would do: I jumped in my car to clock my mileage. Now, my iPod/Nike+ said 9.57 miles. I didn't believe it, until I drove it. 9.6 miles! I was immediately perturbed. 0.4 miles away from double digits! I was screaming in my head. So this Sunday, my goal is 10 miles, and I won't worry as much about time.
On Monday I was off to camp with my class for two nights. I packed a bag for running, and I decided I'd do 4 miles, and I knew there was a section with some good dips and hills. The only time I had to do this was at 6 am on Tuesday. I set my alarm for 5:50, and I remember thinking, "I'm not getting up to run." I had worked myself into a frenzy that I could not run the hills and would have to stop and walk. Yet the alarm went off at 5:50am, I laid in my sleeping bag a minute or two, and the next thing I knew, I was up, dressed, and stretching next to my car...then my feet just took off running. That first hill was the worst, but I'm happy to say I made it the full four miles with hills, no stopping to walk. Again, I ask myself, "Who does this? Who gets up to run 4 miles before her class of sixth graders wakes up?" I guess I do.
I got home from camp on Wednesday, and my daughter has a medical issue I had to deal with, so I only had time for a 40 minute elliptical workout. Not great, but it was something, and I decided something was better than nothing. Again, I could have said, "I only have 40 minutes, so I'll just skip it." But again...I didn't make an excuse.
Today after work I was exhausted. I really needed to just come home, curl up on the couch, and go to sleep early. But I needed to go the Y first and do some weights (that I haven't done in over a week) and then run 3 miles. Wait, no, I hit 3 miles, and thought, hey, I'll run 4 miles, and I did it in 45 mintues, or 11:10 per mile, which for me is a good 5K pace that I hope to make a 10K pace soon. Who does this? Who thinks about pacing for different distances? Wasn't it just a few months ago that if I could run 4 miles in 52 minutes I was jumping for joy, and had total loss of breath? That was me...then.
This is me now. I don't make up excuses, I just find the time. Are there days I can't get a workout in? Sure, and like the 40 min elliptical day, that wasn't the plan...but it's what I had time for, so it's what I did. I also plan days off, like after the long run. The goal was to do a weight workout the day after the long run, but due to being at camp, I didn't get a chance this week. I also didn't get a spin class in like I normally do, but I did something!
I have to admit, I don't know this person. I can't figure out when it happened, but it has happened. Working out and running are just what I do. I'm listening to my body so I don't over do it. And I don't look forward to running ten miles on Sunday to be honest. But I'll do it...for whatever reason, I'll lace up my shoes, get the iPod set, and off I will go. It will be at least 6pm because I'll be getting home from a weekend of fastpitch, but again, I'll do it because now, it's just what I do.
If you are struggling with weight, finding time, finding energy, I can only speak from my experience. My experience is that you have to be in a place in your life where it just works. Last year at this time, I wasn't there mentally to do this. When I started exercising in August, it wasn't really to make this sweeping change. I just kept at it, and it has snowballed into -36lbs, down clothing sizes, increased energy, and a clear mind. All you have to do is keep at it. If I can do it, so can you!
Keep going!
Jolene :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)